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Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
You're like the sunburn I got at the beach.
Which stings and smarts but will not go away
Worse than mosquito bites just out of reach.
On August mornings sun gets in my eyes
I feel the same whenever you I see
Embarrassed by your childish tricks and lies
You're like the swimsuit that's too old for me.
In raging summer heat I feel quite dead
Worse still are sticky car seats that are hot
Yet when I hear those maxims that you've said
I must say they are false and foolish rot.
But while I groan to think of our first meeting
I know a summer day is short and fleeting.
NOT directed at anyone in particular, just an idea inspired by :iconjestandavie:. Except when she did it, she didn't stick to the sonnet form. Original is by Will Shakespeare, of course, I just did a parody on it. Hope you enjoy, and crits and comments are always appreciated!
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I do enjoy myself a sonnet, whether it be romantic or satirical. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day" in particular inspires both, partly due to its fame and partly due to its open simile.

First of all, I'm glad that there's at least someone out there who has a grasp of iambic pentameter. Reading it out loud, the meter and rhyme is perfectly done.

I like the way this poem dishes out the burns without letting up, assailing that clingy person we all know without mercy. You are also very consistent with the image of summer, which I add to your credit. A sonnet should not be allowed to wander too far from its focus, or else it loses some of its potency. I particularly like the last couplet of the end; it's the silver lining we've been searching for.
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horseygurl258 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2011  Student Photographer
=D great! love the fact that you actually stuck to form! most people say, "iambic what?!?!" very funny
tomato-bird Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you! I love sonnets, and my friend had the idea of the "Shall I compare thee..." with a negative comparison! Except she didn't know how to write sonnets, so I did. :D
horseygurl258 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2011  Student Photographer
Well, it was excellently done =D Sonnets are so much fun to write and read, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading yours.
tomato-bird Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you! I'm glad you were able to enjoy it, I love sonnets too. We had to do a bunch for English class.
horseygurl258 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2011  Student Photographer
We never wrote sonnets, but our teacher had us write our own version of Hamlet's To Be or Not to Be speech, which was a lot of fun.
tomato-bird Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
haha, we haven't read Hamlet yet but we went through Romeo and Juliet. I had a really great teacher and got a lot out of it.
horseygurl258 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2011  Student Photographer
Yeah, Romeo and Juliet is one of those plays that can go either way, depending on your first experience reading it. We read it my freshman year of high school, and my teacher assigned groups an act, and let each group do their own version. It was great =D R&J isn't my favorite plot-wise, but it has such wonderful word play, I love it lol. We also read through Midsummer Night, and I got to speak Helena's part.
tomato-bird Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
Yeah, as I said I had a great teacher who loved the play and we were all assigned parts and sort of acted/spoke it out. At the end of the quarter, we got into groups and had to do an artistic representation of a scene, and my mates and I decided to do Mercutio's Queen Mab speech. We made a poster which I posted here [link] It was super fun and everybody learned something, though I can understand how it could be very dull in the hands of a different teacher.
(1 Reply)
aire73 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2011  Hobbyist
That's cool~~
lifelostme Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2011
Well done :D
tomato-bird Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
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